Avoid the sophomore slump

Be a late bloomer

What’s a Demi-Elder?

Older…but not old. 

Okay, so I made it up, but occasionally you’ve got to build the lexicon you need. So what does it mean to be a demi-elder? For starters, it includes:

• Embracing your own badassery.

• Honoring the wisdom you’ve earned in getting to this point, while understanding there’s still so much more to learn. 

• Straight-up laughing when people intent on paying a compliment say, “Wow, you look great for your age.”

• A fair amount of self-knowledge, and feeling good in your skin. 

• Having accumulated a lot of memories that make you smile big, some of which could make you cry, but now you know better because all of those experiences - the rough, the silky smooth and everything in between - brought you here. 

And where I am is pretty great. 

No, I will not be a wünderkind or an ingénue. I won’t be on any “30 under 30” lists. Come to think of it, I didn’t even make it onto a 40 under 40 list. Those ships have sailed. Adios. But this is a good time to be a woman getting older, coming into full fruition. And I’ve never felt better, more comfortable or empowered than I do now. 

I’m glad I didn’t peak early because I get to enjoy all the goodies with enough self-awareness to not blow it. No sophomore slumps here; I’m cruising into 3rd quarter.

I could feel a shift in the zeitgeist when Joan Didion at nearly 80 years old was shot by Juergen Teller for Céline. And it’s true. Old ladies are trending. They’re on runways, in ad campaigns, they’re social media darlings. Even young women are dyeing their hair prematurely gray to capture a bit of the edginess that age now conveys. Old is the new young. Grandma has an agent. 

Granted, I’m no grandma. I’m not even a “ma.” I found myself in this cultural nowheresville that badly needed a name, so I gave it one. Part “Demi Moore” and part demitasse with plenty of wisdom in the mix.  

A bunch of my peers are in similar scenarios. These women - and some men - are unmarried or child-free or both. Instead of opting into well-trod paths, they are enjoying creatively full, sensual lives. Nothing basic here. I call us map-makers because we’re in uncharted territory which comes with its own challenges, but also happens to be a lot of fun. As one of my friends said, “I don’t have kids. I have a beach house.”

The dudes have a lot more positive reference points. Playboy, bon vivant, confirmed bachelor. The ladies? We can choose from spinster, cougar, or crone. None of which are exactly aspirational. We need a re-brand. 

Here I am, filling the void and inviting you along for the ride. It’s not going to be boring. Because darlin’, map-makers don’t do boring. 

Until next time…

BTW: If you know a demi-elder / map-maker, please forward this along to them with a wink and smile. They deserve to be seen and applauded.