Full Cup, Different Stemware
Peak life moment: My family around my table for Christmas dinner. And that’s the extent of what we usually show via social media.
But there’s always more story out of frame.
I was talking with a friend on Christmas Eve Day, a dear human who is having a rough time of it lately. In a moment of intimate vulnerability she shared that she’s sometimes intimidated by how great my life seems to be. I laughed and assured her that like everyone else I have messy days and disappointments.
I told her I thought I’d be getting woken up by my kids on Christmas morning, opening presents way too early followed by making pancakes for my partner and our kiddos, or maybe some version of a blended family.
That didn’t happen. And that is okay. My cup is full, it’s just not the stemware I anticipated.
Instead, I enjoyed the luxury of sleeping in and was woken up by my sweet, furry beast (who had not just bedhead but bed-face). It was gorgeous out so we went for a long walk around this little town I call home, and got ready to receive my brother and his family for a late lunch.
Friends called. There were presents under the tree. All four burners were in use. There was family around my table. A house filled with people I love. We ate. We laughed. It was good. It was really good.
Was it what I thought it would look like? Nope. I seem to have wandered off the pavement. I’m in new, different terrain. Yes, there are occasional pangs of grief, but there is also a flavor of freedom here that I didn’t expect and certainly don’t intend to waste.
Regardless of what manifesting workshops may promise, we don’t pick our lives out of a catalog. Even if it’s not what we pictured, we can still create rituals, traditions and weave meaning into our lives. Wonderfully, that bit is up to us.
Expectations, great or otherwise, can be limiting. On Christmas afternoon this year, I didn’t count who wasn’t at my table. I was focused on who was there, appreciating what was, what is. And I’ve learned to cherish the freedom in not knowing what will be.