My night flight had already been in the air for an hour when the captain announced due to engine trouble, we’d turn around. The left engine was vibrating and as we climbed, he explained, there was an increased element of risk.
Landed.
Disembarked.
Cancelled.
Stranded-ish at 1:30 AM but not plummeting into the Atlantic Ocean provides a shot of perspective.
Here’s what I did:
Made the best of it. Bypassed the lines of panicking people that snaked through the terminal. Booked myself into the TWA Hotel for a few hours of sleep. Ordered up a toothbrush.
Morning. Showered. Located my bags. By late afternoon I boarded the next semi-reasonable flight I could talk myself onto. One more red eye, giving me a matching set.
I also wore my ear buds into the shower. But I’m fine, really.
But these are not problems, my friends. I’ve had problems. Cancer is a problem. These are discomforts, annoyances. Being confronted with one’s mortality has a way of offering up clarity.
It’s October. Breast cancer awareness month. I used to loathe it, pink reminders everywhere of the bullet I’d dodged. But now, 19 years after my shocking diagnosis, it doesn’t rock me. I’ve mellowed because I’m not as terrified. But I’m also not as palpably aware of the precipice, to the point where I don’t think about cancer every day. A return to the human condition.
Not today, though. Today I counted my stars, lucky or otherwise. Not every day is going to be a good day. I’m no cheerleader for toxic positivity. But even the challenging ones are better than the alternative.
Please let’s compassionately remind each other when we are tired, frustrated and disappointed that there is also room amidst these valid emotions for grace. Cancelled flights and all, here we are. We are here.
And me, I’ll be having breakfast in Amsterdam, lunch in Florence and aperitivo in Umbria. I will be tired, but very much alive.
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I love this, "Today I counted my stars, lucky or otherwise. Not every day is going to be a good day. I’m no cheerleader for toxic positivity." and this, "Please let’s compassionately remind each other when we are tired, frustrated and disappointed that there is also room amidst these valid emotions for grace. Cancelled flights and all, here we are. We are here." Well, really I loved the whole thing. Grace amidst the tiny details of living a life. Living being the key. Thank you for this!❤
Love this!