What to Expect When You’re Not Expecting When 90’s supermodel Tatjana Patitz passed away this year from metastatic breast cancer, it was a jolt to my system. I was shocked, saddened and it kicked up some fear given my own health history. I read a bit about her life and looked at some of the gorgeous work she’d done - including the photo above taken by Peter Lindbergh for
This is just beautiful...I too had cancer in my early thirties and was thrusted into fertility talks and multiple miscarriages and then a marriage ending. I wonder if without the pressure of kids whether things would have just moved forward more naturally without so much intense and irreparable heartache. There is so much secrecy to motherhood and those that can and those who can’t. Also women who only tell their story after the happy ending. Grateful for your piece that makes me feel less alone x
Sep 24, 2023·edited Sep 24, 2023Liked by Laura Rubin
This is such a beautiful piece. Just wanted to express how valuable and important your awesome story is for other women who have lived a similar journey and want to see examples of non-parents thriving. There are many roads to a happy life yet the one promoted most is motherhood and nuclear family life. But it just doesn't work out for some of us, no matter how hard we try. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm inspired.
I’m very moved by your writing - your vulnerability and strength is what we need more of in our current culture and dialogue. I’m 45 and have 2 kids now but struggled with unexplained infertility in my early 30’s and recognize/remember a lot of what you share. And am continually shocked by how many parents don’t truly see and embrace what parenting is - it’s incredibly difficult and humbling and relentless.
Thank you for sharing this. Great take on the whole subject honest, with a sense of humour and not bitter at all. I went through this myself minus the cancer. So 100% with you on all of this. It’s great to read about it.
I appreciate you talking about a topic that most find uncomfortable. Your grace, and subtle humor mixed with the vulnerability of this piece is really well done!
This is just beautiful...I too had cancer in my early thirties and was thrusted into fertility talks and multiple miscarriages and then a marriage ending. I wonder if without the pressure of kids whether things would have just moved forward more naturally without so much intense and irreparable heartache. There is so much secrecy to motherhood and those that can and those who can’t. Also women who only tell their story after the happy ending. Grateful for your piece that makes me feel less alone x
What a gorgeous piece of writing.
This is such a beautiful piece. Just wanted to express how valuable and important your awesome story is for other women who have lived a similar journey and want to see examples of non-parents thriving. There are many roads to a happy life yet the one promoted most is motherhood and nuclear family life. But it just doesn't work out for some of us, no matter how hard we try. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm inspired.
Wow. Thank you. No words.
I’m very moved by your writing - your vulnerability and strength is what we need more of in our current culture and dialogue. I’m 45 and have 2 kids now but struggled with unexplained infertility in my early 30’s and recognize/remember a lot of what you share. And am continually shocked by how many parents don’t truly see and embrace what parenting is - it’s incredibly difficult and humbling and relentless.
Thank you for sharing this. Great take on the whole subject honest, with a sense of humour and not bitter at all. I went through this myself minus the cancer. So 100% with you on all of this. It’s great to read about it.
I appreciate you talking about a topic that most find uncomfortable. Your grace, and subtle humor mixed with the vulnerability of this piece is really well done!
Sometimes we stumble across a piece of writing that changes everything. This was one of those for me - thank you, truly.
Amazing writing! Thoroughly enjoyed the read. Thank you for taking the time and effort to share your beautiful words.
So well written Laura. Quite a goodbye (or see you later) letter to California! Keep on inspiring people with your words and actions friend.
Your writing is so beautiful and appreciated. Thank you for sharing with us.